Rumors of my death would be greatly exaggerated if they existed

...but like, nobody even cared enough to make up lies about me. How am I supposed to use over quoted Mark Twain references correctly if no one even cares enough to at least try to tell some junior high schooler that I died in a freak snow blowing accident or something? I'm sure they'd take it from there...

Anyway- for all my absence, I don't have many details to give. But since you were such a nice person and read this far, heres a little smattering of vagueish life updates:

A few material things have happened- not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but both my cell phone and car died. Like the cold heartless man I am, I replaced them with younger, prettier things with out even giving them proper burials- a Saab 900SE and a LG Voyager, respectively. I enjoy them way to much- I can now continue endless poke wars anywhere with a cell signal from within a climate controlled cabin with articulated, heated leather seats. Its pretty much the life.

Materially, really thats about it- I've worked on getting space for ReMine, but the long and short of it is I haven't got it yet. What I have been doing is spending more time with people- and thats a good thing I think. The world will always be there for me to conquer it. People are different- opportunities come and go, many times never to come in the same way again. And I know some very special people right now. I would be a fool to miss out on those relationships and what could be built on them. And really, what more does life come down to then relationships?

....

I often mull over life questions like these to a soundtrack, and recently that sound track has been by a very interesting artist I just discovered- a hip hop whiz kid by the stage name of Lupe Fiasco. Some course slang, and one or two things he has the wrong idea about but other then that I highly recommend him. I picked up his album called "The Cool" and its depth blew me away. Though not strictly a concept album, the album's title hints at the threads that are woven through it- one of which is, "What is it to be cool? Who decides it, what does it lead to?" This is communicated through several stories- OH MY GOODNESS- EVERYBODY ITS OFFICIAL, I'M IN LOVE WITH KIAYA AND I'M POSITIVELY BURSTING WITH JOY!!!! Just got the word I could tell everybody so I did...more later, I couldn't wait though... right, now back to your regularly scheduled boredom- but first, HERE'S TO THE AWESOMEST OF DAMES, MY LOVE- KIAYA!*RAISES GLASS HIGH and dances out of room happily* one about an ambitious man (Superstar) who strives and strives for fame and glory, and what little he does find is hollow. Another song (Hip Hop saved my life) tells the story of a disadvantaged kid who uses his music career to lift his family out of poverty. That is one of meanings behind the title "The cool".

The other is a story he tells over 5 songs, and apparently is a continuation of a song on his previous album. It tells the tale of an undead rapper named The Cool who raises from his grave and roams the ghetto empty and hollow, his only possessions a letter from his 2nd grade sister and a gold chain necklace. The strange world is filled with other fantastical characters- a seductress named "The Streets" and a man called "The Game"- the oldest gangster ever, speaking every language on the planet who has dice for eyes, bullets for teeth and crack pipes for lungs. These characters are a canvas he uses to weave cautionary tales, like an epic shaksperian rap tragedy.

....

I've decided awhile ago that long term, I want to be doing business for myself. There are a lot of reasons for that: creativity, self-reliance, freedom. The way I figure it is like this- If I am not financially tied to any one company or boss, I have freedom to do what interests me and end something when I don't believe in it. If I build businesses that live on their own and generate money whether I am there or not, I am free to be with the people I love and free to go where I want. I love freedom- possibly to a fault. But thats a topic for another post- the point is, business is my plan to get it more of it. And it largely boils down to the ability to make those I love and myself comfortable. I still believe in that. But one thing I'm thinking about more and more is that if I get too into the game, if I get obsessed with the process of getting it, I could arrive at the other end with out as many people I love and whom love me. And that would be a hollow victory, because they are largely the reason one does this in the first place. This is a verse I've thought over for awhile, which is sung from the perspective of The Cool. The lady he speaks of is The Streets:

Her eyes glow green with the logo of our dreams
The purpose of our scene
The obscene obsession for the bling
She would be my queen
I could be her king
Together she would make me cool
And we would both rule, forever
And I would never feel pain
And never be without pleasure, ever, again

Of course, you can never buy away pain or all discomfort. You can use your money as a tool to mitigate it and defend against those in excess. But after a point, the only thing you can do is just be there for somebody- be a shoulder to cry on, be a warm embrace.

Honestly, I don't think I've ever been close to obsessing over the game to a point of concern. I'm fine with where I am right now- but I see me mulling over this as making a decision now to use for future reference.

So, people and relationships vs. freedom and financial good standing. I'm an optimist, so I'd like to think I can have both in great measure. But if I do have to sacrifice one for the other in a pinch, I know I'd keep people.

Wealth is replaceable. (Just ask my Honda CRX or my old LG). But people KIAYA isn't aren't.I