Tuesday, February 27, 2007

I may have shot the clutch, but I did not shoot the depuzeke

So, some have accused me of being the anti-blogger.

Yeah, I don't really have any defence. Just thought I'd throw that out there.

Whats been up recently? Welll... Work has been great but has kept me busy (I suppose thats what its there for). I went to an AMAZING fort Pastor concert, and they solidified in my mind how awesome they were. They are just such real, honest, nice people. They remembered us. And a guy from SoulFest was there, and he remembered us too. How cool is that?

Concernting the title, yes I know its basically the lamest title EVER. But I paid for it, dang it.

You see, I was getting onto the highway with my good friend Mike, taking him home. I was going in my dads car, which is a manual, which I recently learned to drive. Or maybe not.

As I was pulling out of the stop light on to the on ramp, I thought "Wow, this thing really is going today- look at that RPM shoot up!" and I had to shift faster to account for the faster rev up. Which I thought was pretty cool. It sounded more like a sports car. Shifting can make you feel pretty cool when your not bouncing around in a parking lot trying to get into first. Thats a fact.

But of course, by the time I got into 5th I realized that I wasn't going as fast as the RPM would have me beleive. In fact, in 5th, I wasn't passing 50, and my RPM was almost redlining. About that time, Mike asked "Dude, do you smell that?" to which I replied like any good friend "SHUT UP! DON'T even joke about that.... you must just be smelling the heater. I don't smell anything."

But as I could tell something was up, I pulled over. THEN I smelt it. "Great." Juustt great. I tried putting it into gear again... I had to have that thing up to 4000 before it would budge. "I'mmmm in trouble. Can I borrow your cell?"

Long story short, my dad came and towed us out. In the van. With a tow cable. Yeah, it was pretty cool. I drove the van, with a line of communication constantly open between the vehicles, courtesy of Mike's cell. I would warn him when I was going to break, he would tell me if I was going to slow or if I needed to move a little more off the shoulder, etc. I towed him to the next exit, which thankfully happens to be the exit our mechanic is at.

So what happend? Welll.....

APPARENTLY, the clutch is designed to slip. This is what my dad told me when I asked him how on earth I was supposed to get a start going on a hill with out falling into the car behind me.

"No Zeke, you can take the clutch out a little bit to defeat the backwards motion... you don't have to go all in right away."

"OH! Like how an automatic is always going forward a bit when stopped!" says I.

"Yeah, sort of..." my dad replied, not realizing the chain effect this had on my brain.

APPARENTLY, your not supposed to slip the clutch for long periods of time. Say, on a hill, while waiting for a red light to change for thirty seconds. HUH, oops. Thats basically what I did for a day or two in Manchester. Heh, my bad!

I paid to have another clutch put in. The mechnic showed me what I did. I literally caught the thing on fire. Pretty funny actually.

So thats why I say I paid for my lame title. Though I didn't document that use. I did however, document the biggest portion I got out of this whole ordeal. On the memo to the mechanic, I wrote "An expensive lesson".

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

A Heinz Post

I call this my Heinz post. How come? Why, because I have to Catch up, of course!

The last post would have been okay I suppose, had I followed it up soon with another one and another one that were just the same style. But left as a final note on a marriage, it is a tad underwhelming. My apologies.

Because of the lateness of this post, I will change from doing a play-by-play recap of the previous day in a roughly chronological order, to simply giving you the highlights from the days I didn't blog yet. I will even add bold headers to the different sections as a gift to you guys, so if you get bored of reading geek stuff then you can skip to right where you want to go. Okay... commence tomatoey sauce- NOW:

Keep'n it White and Nerdy
Originally, dX wanted me to bring down my computer, so we could kick it in Counter Strike like old times, but I told him their was no way I could seriously game on that thing. It is...lacking. I am too ashamed to even post the specs on this blog...not that I game very much these days anyway, but I do appreciate and use the power usually.

I have been needing an upgrade now for awhile, so one of the ideas I had was that I could build a system while down there and ship it back. But when you boiled it down, it really didn't make any sense- I would be paying way to much, rushing myself into the purchasing, limiting my choices, and probably end up using some of the money I wanted to use for his gift. I didn't decide this, though, until after I got there, so I had brought my own optical drive with a windows XP CD, as well as a spare hard disk of questionable lifespan. But thats another story.

And so, being the easy going guy he is, dX took the news in stride. It turns out, he had accumulated a collection of computer pieces since he had moved out there, so we decided to REALLY kick it like we used to: Spend some quality time with the hardware on a makeshift bench, and Electro-static precautions that would make a QA representative faint. I'll spare you the details of building the box, but it was a lot of fun. dX and I hadn't really gotten down and dirty with a system like that in awhile, and we both agreed that it was our quickest build ever- when we actually sat down to work on it, we finnished it up in a few hours. And it was unnaturally fast- we had scrounged up 128 MB of ram, and put it in a 400 mhz P2 system with a crummy old 32 MB ATI card, but the thing FLEW. I kid you not; it was more responsive then my current system at home. And oh yeah; we loaded it up with XP. I cut down the services that ran considerably, but still- it was an impressive feat. I used it as my own system, and when I left he gave it as a gift to his sister.

People who don't smoke and cars that do
The night before the wedding, dX had a little party with me and a few friends. I hate to call it a bachelors party because of all the pejorative connotations that come with that term, but thats what he called it so that I suppose is what it was. Basically, it was a bunch of guys, hanging out, laughing, eating pizza and dorritos, and playing Game Cube. It was alot of fun.

A guy named Fritz and I both needed to get some money from an ATM to help pitch in for pizza. Since Fritz was was the first one there, we decided to all duck out for the errand and get some snack goodies while we were out.

"Can we take your car- is it running okay?" dX asked.
"Well, the radiator is a bit leaky... hows yours?" Fritz responded.
"Oh, just a leaky radiator? Psh, my alternator might be going..."
"Okay cool, we'll take mine".

Ahh, those fateful words. The radiator turned out to be more then a little issue, and it got very bad by the time we had got to our first stop. Steam was coming steadily out from the hood. We decided to stop by an auto store. They were pretty sure it was the cap on the radiator, so we picked up another of those and some radiator fluid. When we added just a little bit of the fluid, the thing fired up like a smoke generator- steam clouds erupted violently into the night. It did this for several minutes, until it was finally cool enough to put the fluid in. There was much laughter, and I was heard to say "DUDE- where's a camera when you need it? I'm SO blogging this."

We finally got the fluid in the radiator, and it seemed to improve with the new cap. We drove a very short distance to Wal-Mart from there, and as we were cruising through the parking lot, Fritz kept looking back in the mirror. "Dude," he said "Am I smoking?"

When we parked and got out, we found- quite graphically- that we indeed had been. It wasn't like something was on fire, it wasn't a black smoke- but the tail pipe was emitting enough emissions to make Al Gore cry. dX thought perhaps the O2 sensor was faulty. I just sat back and wished I had a camera again- the smoke from our tailpipe was even more fantastic then the radiator. It rose slower and lingered more. You could literally see our trail from the auto store to Wal-Mart, rising slowly into the heavens. When we drove, it must have looked like we were the world's slowest rocket powered car.

But wait, it gets better- when we headed back home, the radiator problem came back. With vengeance. Whenever we stopped at a stop sign, the steam from the hood would quickly flood the view from the windshield in less then a second, like our own personal fog area. Luckily there wasn't any other cars around at those intersections- we would stop, the view would disappear, we would go, and we could see. As long as we kept going at all, the steam was pushed around us.

When we parked I wished again that I had a camera. The vehicle was a sight to see. Smoke coming out one end; steam coming out the other. It was hilarious. Fritz ended up having it towed out of there in the morning.

Coffee, Coffee, everywhere and all the drops to drink
I think I mentioned before that many in the grooms family work at the a very nice local coffee establishment. Just in case your passing through some time, its called "Harbor lights". Personally, I think it sounds more like a cigarette then a coffee shop, but the atmosphere and quality of beverage more then makes up for the odd name (I mean, its KANSAS- there aren't any harbors to speak of). I told you already about the George's caramel mocha blast. I suppose that the rest of my experiences won't translate as well in print. I'll just say- Its a great place. They have books, and games out for you to use if you want to at both locations. Its a great atmosphere. OH! And I almost forgot-

They make custom soda's there. Yup- on demand. I had an irish creme soda- with (get this) whipcream. The groom's mum told me that about the custom soda's and made me one. I think its basically club soda/soda water with flavor shots on demand. I don't know exactly how its done, but I can tell you why its done- because they taste AWESOME. And whipcreme? On soda?

....

GENIUS!

I told everyone there "The boys back home will never beleive this- 'Whaa? Whipcream in soda? Your making that up!' and I'll be like 'No man really! Thats what they do in Kansas!' it'll be great."

Wedding

The wedding went off pretty much with out a hitch- well, sans of course, the Marriage of dX and his new Bride. But this, I'm told, was entirely intended.

I got to meet Sarah (dX's wife- man that is still weird to say), which was great as until this point I had never had the oppertunity. And she was a great person- Conesiur of coffee and music, edging a bit on the artsy side, yet able to love a geek and even having established some welding skills. I'm very happy for them.

Super duper suite
The wedding wasn't a huge operation, but it wasn't ghetto. It was still very nice, even if the couple wasn't made of money. Nate and I, for example, were basically their getaway vehicle. Get away to where? The Chateau (said with extreme accentation- shut up, its a word now), but of course! They were kind enough to bring up their suitcases and such so we got a chance to see the establishment. It was some high class stuff. The room's looked like something out of the imagination of a Disney set designer- I think their's was an "island escape" theme, complete with a huge front end of a ship that served as the balcony and bedroom, a giant jacuzzi and exotic trees and plants a plenty, shooting from everywhere. There was probably more, but we didn't really hang around to long...

Neil Gaimen Evangelism
I got to hang out with Nate a bit as well, (if you recall in a post previous, I dissconnected his family from the internet using his computer- always a great ice breaker) but that night and the next day, I got to spend some more time with him. It was a blast- Nate is a genius and (I had forgot) an Artist. He sketches quite often, always striving to better his craft. I was almost sure that he would appreciate Mirror Mask. I was going to bring it with me to watch before I headed out, but of course, being myself, I failed to remember to. But things turned out all right; after dropping off the happy couple, we took a jaunt down to the local video rental establishment.

On our way we discussed the pros of wearing suits. Originally, he had protested his general level of discomfort in the suit and that he didn't really look forward to wearing it. But by the time of the wedding, we had both noticed that it was quite fine indeed to be wearing the suits- not only were they comfortable as heck (I know, I know- its a misnomer, okay?), but they also gave us the strange urge to possess and use a Katana, a handgun, or (preferably) both. They just make you feel and look that cool. So on that note, we walked into Hollywood video, commenting that we were probably their best dressed patrons ever and joking to each other that we could just buy the establishment if the lines were too busy.

If you haven't seen Mirror Mask, I'm very sorry but there really isn't any good way I can explain it. I just ask that you go, look at the trailer, then rent the movie. Heck, you can even watch it for free in semi cruddy quality on Google Video, legally. Or, preferably, buy and watch the DVD. Whatever you do, watch this film- then you will know that it is indeed an amazing movie. And it will seen a foregone conclusion, that yes, OF COURSE, he loved the film.

And you would be right. He found it quite impressive. I also evangalized Regina Spektor to him, which I wasn't as sure about. But he recognized and appreciated her genius as well. He was fasinated by how expressive and subtle her face was in the videos. "I have to try and sketch her" he said.

And that, in a nutshell (a very large, approximately 2000 word nutshell), was my trip in Kansas. Happy? Good.

So. What happend with you guys while I was gone?


Thursday, February 01, 2007

I broke the internet.

Hello everybody.

Heres a small update of whats gone down since the last post. Sorry its taken so long, things have been crazy busy and fun over here.

So, on the 31st I left on the plane (on time- early, even!) and successfully landed and was picked up by 10:22 local time. Much better.

Mrs. F narrated the drive through Kansas as we went. We ended up picking up Nate, which was a blast. He still was wearing one of his awesome hats.

We got to their house and I ate some monkey bread. I go ape over that stuff. *ducks*

I spent alot of time chilling out with Nate in his room. He decided he wanted to show me a game he got called Prey, because of some crazy multi-dimensional mind bending physics engine stuff. He had recently rebuilt his computer, so he had to reinstall it. At this point, he found out he had misplaced his key. And his manual. "I just cleaned up my room..." his voice trailed off for a second. "Oh man, I hope I didn't throw it away."

Long story short, since he couldn't find it I decided to see if I could find it first online, and when that didn't work, I decided to port scan to see if I could find any hidden FTP servers that might have a key.

That, put simply, was a horrible idea. You see, port scanning is basically where, instead of using a search engine or typing in a website URL, you simply start at one part of the internet and start looking door to door till you find something. Its fun. You can find websites at random, or other things like file sites that aren't availible normally. You can find all sorts of weird network devices. You can find print servers from Itally (my friend did once). A friend of mine got me hooked on it for awhile, and we would share our findings every now and then.

Well, we told Mr. F what we were doing thinking he'd get a kick out of it and he got really upset. "DON'T PORT SCAN ON MY NETWORK! I don't want the liability..." and about that time, the scanner stopped working. And so did all of our connections outside to the internet. The whole house had lost the network. And he used IP Telephony, so... the phone died too. Yeah, smooth move Zeke. Way to make an entrance. Either we had got ourselves shut down for port scanning, (I guess it was against their Terms of service?) or we triggered hit something that freaked out the cable modem. I felt so bad.

Eventually Mr. F had to go to the Road Runner (Their ISP's) office and have them reset it. Talk about a comedy of errors...

So that was a bad start, BUT! It honestly got better... That night Mr. F himself even bought me a "George's Carmel Blast" at the coffee house half his family works at, Harbor Lights. It was really really good. Legend has it, that a guy named George would always come asking for a Carmel Macchiato with extra extra carmel. The guy REALLY liked carmel. Finally Tim started experimenting with his drink, finally stumbling upon glazing the inside of the cop with carmel, then doing the rest and putting whipped-creme and carmel drizzle on top. Word got around, and when they redid the signs, they put it up as "George's Carmel blast". Man, I want a drink named after me! So cool...

I am a day or two behind at this point in posting, but instead of sit on this post for another day, I'm going to let it go. I'm off to the wedding rehearsal now...