Sunday, July 08, 2007

Paradox

Smile that disarms
yet lights the fuse
with ruthless charms
Ignites maddening muse
and fans the flames
strong and strange

heart jumps twice
when it hears the name
and then skips thrice
in fear of same
runs away
in fear of shame

Stays that way,
For want of tame

Friday, July 06, 2007

A Good Morning to you, too.


Because my boss is off to another country to see his brother get married, I have moved up to the 9 to 5 shift for today and Monday.

I really like my normal hours, but I am enjoying this change of pace. Leaving in the morning is somehow different. The day is young, everything is waking up at once... the drive there is bright. Even though I got a little less sleep last night as I had to adjust to this shift, the daylight seemed to help me feel awake. Everything felt awake... you could tell it was morning just by the smell of the air. It made me feel more alive; more motivated. I haven't smelled morning in a while.

So motivated was I that after arriving at work, I fixed some code I had written to assist me. It basically goes through the program I use for my work most and makes the selections I have to make everyday and clicks the buttons for me and such, all by itself. Since someone had changed something in the program a month or two ago, it stopped working (it would click and open the wrong stuff). I even optimized the way it was written so it works much better now. Good stuff. Haven't written code in awhile.

Then after that, I totally cleaned my desk. Hadn't done that in awhile, either. Or write an email to a department in another state with out worrying it will get there after they have already left for home. Did that today, too.

Come to think of it, its probably not the time of day (except for that last one). I bet its just the change.

You see, I have been building a theory about myself over the last several years. The theory states that I thrive in change and stagnate in sameness. I don't know if its bad or good- more likely then not it just "is". When something is new to me, when my surroundings change- even (especially!) when they change drastically, it excites me. Its fresh, its something new. Its a challenge and an adventure. Among the exhibits of evidence for this theory are my thriving at AGAPE, my love of traveling and the fact that to this day I almost always fall asleep quicker on a foreign surface then on my own bed.

Is that weird? Anyone else out there relate at all?