I'm overdue for an adventure.
I'm not really sure much of anything these days.
How come humans are so complicated?
I wish I had someone to share this with.
This would be so much greater if I could share this with Her.
How do you find out?
How do you know you've found it?
How do you learn from your mistakes when your so concerned that you'll give some one a bad example that you never make any mistakes?
Beautiful things enrapture and torture me.
How come I am so special?
I don't want to be a role model. Its to much to bear.
If I ask for a hug, would I get an inquisition?
How do you know you've found her? How do you know you're right?
I really wish I was allowed to love right now.
Can you live your own life if you constantly are paranoid when you cross any one elses?
Beauty that is always passing you is one of life's mockeries.
I plan things for one reason, but my reaction to details and roster changes betrays hints of my ulterior motives. If they are mine, why can't they just be clear?
Is taking a chance never okay if it involves possible harm to another person?
Why am I so lazy?
Would a hug kill her?
Why can't I do what I want to do?
Is a high salary merely a good to trap you from the best?
If I'm not getting better, am I falling back?
Painfully beautiful.
I can't even quite render what it is that has me so upset. And that makes me frustrated and sad. How can I figure out a problem when I don't know what the problem is?
Whats the big flipping deal about geography?
Is it wrong if cultures merge? Is preservation a good idea in the long run, or should we not even bother?
Why do I suddenly want to share my life?
Is culture really valuable?
What am I doing wrong?
How come I suddenly want to move?
How much damage have I done?
Will she ever be totally healed?
Will I ever be better?
What did they take out in Wanderer's surgery? Is it in remission? Was it even a problem?
How come everyone is so uptight?
How come so exclusive? This doesn't make sense.
Why can't everyone chill out and let adventure and life happen?
How much of the church is right?
Who in the church is genuine?
How come healing is so spotty?
Age is a thorn in the side. 4 years now is a legal weapon. 6 years later does not even raise an eyebrow.
How come emotions are so fickle?
Is it wrong to want companionship?
The one thing good to be said about not knowing your intentions, is that if someone asks you what they are you don't have to lie about them.
How come most of my good friends are so much younger?
How does one expand their social circle with out barging in on a new one?
If your relations run wide do they tend to run shallow?
Age is rubbish at measuring most qualities other then age.
Am I being a selfish brat?
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Sorry guys, this is a very lousy post and I think most of you will have to admit that. I just needed a sounding board to dump stuff on, and it didn't even work that well (which is why I believe it is a bad post). But I figured an update is an update and ergo I post.
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7 comments:
Actually?
I love this post. Because it's honest- it's poignant and it's completely Zekiel set to the 'Thoughtful' setting.
I'm sorry I haven't been online much to actually even know about this post - my apologies. :-(
It's posts like these that I think are the most important - a stream of thought - vulnerable and true.
If you really want a sounding board - I'm always available - by call or email, if you ever need that compassionate ear. (you have a lot of those though, don't you? And I'm probably one of the people you least want to pour your heart out to. [by the way, what color IS your heart? and why?])
Keep questioning. Question everything and anything.. You can never ask enough questions - it's what I admire of you out of many of my friends - you ask different questions. And many of these questions are ones I'd love to have the answer to.
But I have the feeling many of them are aimed at certain people.
This comment is looking really weird and strange now.
*meep!*
*poke*
*runs away*
These caught my eye...
"Age is a thorn in the side. 4 years now is a legal weapon. 6 years later does not even raise an eyebrow."
"If your relations run wide do they tend to run shallow?"
"Is a high salary merely a good to trap you from the best?"
"Who in the church is genuine?"
"How do you learn from your mistakes when your so concerned that you'll give some one a bad example that you never make any mistakes?"
. . . . .
You're in good company with this post. King David, Jeremiah, Joseph (OT & NT), Paul, and King Solomon come to mind. I also think of Oswald Chambers.
Life will always present questions. Some we are able to answer with the knowledge we've already been given, but some require a season of seeking, praying, waiting, and trusting.
Always, always, always know that even though some answers are not forthcoming and some desires remain unfulfilled, as a child of the King of Kings He has promised to meet your every need---emotional, physicial, spiritual, intellectual, relational, etc. Trusting Him for His perfect time is sometimes the hardest test of faith. However, if you will, you'll never regret it.
As always, you're in my prayers. Know Him more deeply; follow Him more closely; love Him more dearly.
haha. Actually, I was using a Mac, so don't be hatin. xD
I'm good. I'm going away. to work at a camp in the boonies of MA that are not far from Boston. yay. xD I'm on kitchen staff. which isn't going to be as bad as people say it is. gosh.
=D
I just saw your other comment.
I can only DREAM of Jon Foreman being my BFF. xD But he got a music myspace for some of his acoustic stuff, and I added him. It took forever, but then it finally happened.
yayyy =D
This is a great post Zeke. As "sunshining lady-person" said. It's honest. Some of the things you mentioned made me think as well. Some of the same thoughts that you've published here, I've had run through my head as well, and that's where it counts. Writing about something that your readers can really understand, because they're going through some of the same things. Keep it up, it's not lame. And I'm praying for you.
Ah, I've been lazy about reading your blog. Nice post though.
Why don't you post anymore? this post in particular is brilliant.
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