Once upon a time, there was a boy named Wanderer. He grew up in a good home with good parents and good siblings. But even those so well fortified in life are never truly safe from its darkness- for while he was still young, the boy was visited by an evil. For a season it wreaked a quiet and untraceable havoc on him, making no visible damage but sowing dysfunction. And then it stopped. The boy was spared by the Hand of God.
Wanderer seemed to show resilience to the evil. After a few short years he had all but forgot the dark force that had visited him. He became an ambitious child and continued to grow up as an apparently well-adjusted child. But two forces resided in him that he knew not of.
The first was a parasite. This parasite was an agent of the darkness that had invaded the boy, and its purpose was to corrupt him to the very darkness itself. The parasite hid itself and masked its symptoms behind things normal to a growing child so that it would not be detected. Meanwhile, the boy developed a love for the Cause, wanting and training earnestly to fight the forces of evil as a warrior. The boy became vigilantly on the lookout for The Darkness- he set garrisons about the property and gazed over them with watchful eye. He tried to keep himself informed of the Enemies plans- he knew of all their latest movements. But he never realized the threat within himself- the parasite was so close and so hidden, that he did not see it. And so the greatest danger to all was allowed to grow.
As the child developed into a young man, the second force started to appear. Wanderer grew apathetic and weary. It was another symptom of the parasite, but he did not know it. His far sight was attacked and his Vision blurred. His dedication to the Cause waned and faltered. He always knew the drills, but his heart was not always in it. He knew in his mind what the moves and strategies were and he remained engaged with others in his ranks, but he grew less and less motivated. This force he at least recognized. He called it different things- lack of self-discipline, laziness, and more. He tried to correct it. He decided he needed an infusion of discipline- a personal morale booster of sorts.
He volunteered with the Cause for a dangerous deployment far away. He submitted himself to the riggers of discipline and danger, and he felt the tide turning. He returned to his native shore, alive and stronger. He was no longer weary and for a time it would seem that the force of apathy had been ridded from the man named Wanderer. But the parasite was still there, and though damaged by the Hand of God, it was not destroyed.
The parasite was smaller when Wanderer first came back to his native shore, but it grew past its previous size in mere months. Wanderer was again tired and careless. He knew he was being damaged and so once more volunteered for more missions. Each mission would take longer to restore him then the last and each time he returned his morale and energy would last shorter. Each time his morale was dampened, it became harder for him to get up the courage to volunteer for more missions. He volunteered less frequently, until he finally stopped altogether.
Now the ideals and Man behind the Cause are noble, just and good. But the institution of the Cause is never perfect. A man can sometimes too easily fall aside from the true meaning of the Cause. He becomes weary and dysfunctional, but as long as he maintains the correct drills and courtesies, the commanding officers will never notice the difference. Such was so for wanderer. He attended all mandatory drills and followed proper courtesies and customs. But he was no longer in it. His body was a husk; an empty shell.
He became a man divided, and deeply introspective. His outside mannerisms were controlled by courtesy, by custom and by upbringing. He never lost that. His conversations were intelligent and polite, for the parasite attacks these more visible things last. But his mind was growing more corrupted by every minute. He soon grew worried that his inner demons were stronger then most. He knew everyone must deal with them themselves, and so he never thought to ask for help. He began to question this line of thinking. But still the parasite grew and established more control, all the while unnoticed.
But alas, these were not the only forces working in him as a young man. There were forces called in, forces of Goodness that had been sent by the Hand Of God. They were appointed to him while at the outpost “Love of God”. And they were agents for truth and love and courage. They were forces of spiritual stimulation- forces that began to shake Wanderer’s apathy, even while the parasite struggled to maintain it.
The battle was played low-key. Forces from either side never openly assaulted one another- there were only munitions fired in burst at targets of opportunity, poorly aimed grenades and botched assassination attempts. It was a secret stalemate, each side hiding enough cards to be one step in front of the other and just out of sight enough so that no witnesses were aware of what they were witnessing, even when they saw it.
The struggle awoke ideas in Wanderer. He continued to be introspective and to think on things long forgotten. He watched for patterns. He noticed his mind growing darker and darker. He felt a vague horror. He had disgust for his own thoughts- but yet he held a spellbound twisted fascination with them as well. He was recognizing something… but what was it? He thought on it often. He had seen these thoughts before.
Meanwhile, he continued to try and function for the Cause. He would escort less skilled forces and assist them. An ambush would happen, and his old training and his well-ingrained skills would come back to him. He would lay down a suppressive fire, he would route the enemy. He was commended. But sometimes when this happened, he felt dizzy. He would falter for a second, and in his confusion he would point the weapon at his own forces. He scared some, but it only lasted a few seconds. He would get it under control and retreat for a time. He would wonder what happened- his thoughts…were they were being rendered? Were they really animating him now? And where, where did they come from? He grew tense with the question, and the uncertainty of when it his spells of confusion would strike again. But he continued accompanying younger troops. It was what he did intuitively; his instructors always said he seemed to be born for backup and escorts.
Once, he was accompanying a small group, and there was a surprise ambush. They were badly outnumbered and outgunned. Wanderer quickly created makeshift bunkers, and laid down return fire. It was an intense fire fight- the younger troops hardly fought at all. Bullets were flying everywhere- the air was filled with the stench of sulphur and of the dirt that was kicked up in clouds from the bullets that had missed their marks. It created a haze and freighted the troops who were not properly trained. After an hour of holding the enemy back, Wanderer knew they needed to retreat. He began to think of the plans in his head- who he would call, the platoons he could radio in- but the leaders above him beat him to it. An extraction force came in valiantly and scattered the enemy long enough to make an escape possible.
When Wanderer returned from the battle, he was exhausted but proud. He lay down on his bed and thought. I may be losing my energy, but I still have it. It felt good to Wanderer to know he was apart of such a dangerous mission and that he defended the Cause’s new blood. Just then a medic came up to his bed.
“Were you the sergeant on escort duty for the new bloods today?” the medic asked.
“I was.” Wanderer replied, rising out of bed.
“Come with me.”
He followed the medic into the infirmary. All along his way, the camp was abuzz with the news of something. People were talking in excited tones and almost all who were talking seemed to have on their face a look of disbelief. When they arrived at the examining room, he recognized a recruit a few tables down. She looked sad and in extreme pain; her gaze met Wanderers and her eyes filled with pain. He had never seen anyone look so sad before. She was in bad shape, too. Blood was everywhere- it looked like she had a head wound. The doctors and nurses assistants were buzzing around her quickly, only meeting Wanderer’s gaze for a brief second of recognition before returning to their work. Then, suddenly four fully armed military guards closed in around her, and stood on alert. He could no longer see her.
“Hey!” Wanderer shouted out to the medic “I know that person! She was with me today on the field-“
“Yes sir… she…” the medic looked out into space for a second as if not exactly sure what to say.
“Is she badly hurt?”
The doctor looked back at him. He seemed angry.
“Do you know why you’re here?”
Wanderer was upset with the question. He ignored it and turned to her.
“Lieutenant, your going to be fi-”
The guards tensed and raised their firearms in his direction. The medic grabbed Wander by the shoulders and looked him straight in the eye.
“WANDERER- You are not to talk to the Lieutenants anymore. That is an order.
“What?!?”
“Do you know why you’re here? You nearly KILLED her. Wanderer- you shot that Lieutenant in the face!”
Wanderer reclined slowly on the operation bench. His head was reeling, but suddenly he wasn’t confused anymore. The excitement at the camp, the reason he was here… it all began to snap together. The escort job that day, the pattern in his thoughts… then the piece he was missing, the part he had nearly forgotten so long ago-
The evil that visited me… it didn’t leave. It never left. Oh God…
And he knew he had the parasite. It was the last thing that he remembered for a long time. Whether from fainting, exhaustion, or the needle in his arm, Wanderer fell asleep. They were to try and operate.
THE END.
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10 comments:
Sad sad story man. And I mean that well. I can't write sad stuff well.
Beautifully done, mysterious, and yet, very discriptive.
Congrats Man!
Maybe..mayhaps I could pray for Wanderer? I'm...not exactly that strong myself...but mayhaps I could..and Wanderer could pray for me?? :) Love you my awesome big bro-tell Wanderer I say hi please. :)
~Momo
whoah. dude. kiaya is right...wicked cryptic and mysterious but so evocative. nicely done.
and as for the subject matter...i don't even know how to touch that. i don't want to just ignore it, but...i really don't KNOW you, and as such, do not feel the right to remark on something so private and lightly veiled.
No one needs to feel entitled to touch it if they don't wish too, but you guys do, feel free. Even if you think you know the key to the subject, just keep it within the confines of the story. I think thats fair.
And thank you, for your compliments on style. Wise person once say: all good art comes from a sence of outrage. Not sure if thats always true, but certain forms of discontempt do seem to push the pen better then other emotions.
Hey. So if none of those girls turn up, we can be confirmed old bachelors together!! Think of it! We could read all day and chat about it with pipesand beards!
I need to read this story again. Oh, before I forget, you should put this site address on your xanga somewhere, cause I can't remember it, and whenever I want to comment here, I have to search through my posts to find the comment where you put this address. Thank you
oh, just read your second comment. How the monkey did you get my picture of the orange phosphorescent bear? I didn't put that online. Man, you computer guys can, like, hack into my computer and then subsequently out of my computer, into my photo drawer, and then pull it through the computer and onto your computer then onto the net then into, OK OK, I'll stop. I'll have to get a firewall for my photo drawer. It's called a bear trap.
well, whenever you're ready, mate!
and yeah...i just don't really know enough about your life to know what the actual meanings are behind the "story" placeholders, and thus, i'm just going to not touch it...
i hope the operation is successful. and if it is...let me know. i could probably use one myself. the dream was a little unnerving, and i didn't realise till after i'd typed it out that it might have "significance"...(not the drug part, the driving part)
Wonderful story mon...it was well written and easy to read...Two thumbs way up!
dang it, who did you shoot zeke?
.....maybe that's not funny, actually, huh.
...What a twist at the end. Does any wanderer ever get the plague out of them? I dunno... Can it ever leave him, this thing? I dunno... Tragic and unexpected ending.
... his big sister is me, ej... uhm, you know, the only one you have... :-))
<--(that is a big grin, not a double-chinned one)
..hey you should click on both of my name's. they link to... well i think it's funny.
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