I have to work through some things and I can no longer take regular classes at Agape. There is the remotest of possibilities that I can rejoin in a few weeks time, but I have convinced myself not to hope against hope as it has proven to me in the last week to be a fool's strategy.
Forgive me- I told you all so optimistically how much I looked forward to seeing you every week. It was true, and I wish I could. But these circumstances- curse them! They make me a liar. Forgive me.
Harder still is that the total reason can not be disclosed, much to my dismay. I feel I owe it to you all, my core of friends at Agape that visit this site frequently and many of you who don't. You ARE my friends, don't I owe you a simple or at least clear reason? Know this: its not my decision that these things remain totally concealed. I have done the only thing I could: make a stance to at least tell no tinted half-truths (which has been suggested), convenient as they may be. I owe you all better, even if it means leaving more questions then answers. At least the answers won't be some rot I can't live with.
I have the strangest urge to tell the truth. Though I perhaps would loose a few friends and I most certainly would not come out unscathed, I feel that the Truth, or heck- even just a small dose of simplified truth- is the only thing that can make this finished.
"...and you will know the truth and the truth will make you free." -John 8:32
I'm not saying I would be vindicated or proven clean or anything- there would be no clear cut victory; for the blame for this situation follows a winding trail that has entry ramps at my door- but at least it would be over. The knot in my stomach would be able to die. However, that's not how people are telling me to play it- and I understand there reasons. They aren't even necessarily wrong. Its just....URGH.... This whole situation has frustrated me to know end.
I love you guys. Everyone at Agape- from the toddlers to the teachers. It really felt like one big family.
I suppose this is it. I wish everyone at Agape the best- and I mean that. Every single family- I leave with no grudges. Just a large knot in my stomach and some regrets.
I'll see you all around.
Long live Mrs. Woodman!
Long live Agape!
...Z..ek..e..
(..Wanderer...)
10 comments:
:(
That's all I can really say. You'll be missed. If it wasn't for you and Abi, I would have quit AGAPE this past year. You've been a great influence in my life this past year. And I know I'll still see you.
I've NEVER met someone like you, that can go through every social circle and be WELCOMED and LOVED for it. You ARE intelligent and you write INCREDIBLE poetry and stories. I am truly blessed to have even seen you and your sister and have heard the love that you express for people.
I know that I'll still see you, because soon I'll be driving and I am DETIRMINED to come visit you and Abigail.
I place no blame on you. How could I? You're ZEKE. It's like...I dunno. I can't be mad at you.
It'll all be better. Trust me. :)
And trust me, we'll all miss you EVERYBIT as much as you miss us.
God Bless, Man.
~~~Kiaya
P.S. First Comment is MINE.
P.S.S. Even though you're not at AGAPE, you're still my Rival Moss. Once an AGAPE Moss, ALWAYS an AGAPE Moss. Because there's NO ONE who can be as cool as you there this year. So, like, when you come and visit, you'll still be a Moss. And I'll STILL have urges to shove you against a wall and coat you in Silly String, mobster style.
Sometime this year. History MAY repeat itself... it's entirely possible.
:)
Hey Zeke... That's really unfortunate... I was really looking forward to hanging with you this year... soccer, the store, just doing randomality type stuff... hope you can work through everything and then come back with us again! Check my blog...
ZEKE-MAN!
I ditto Kiaya in entirety...and more...Without you or your sister, I wouldn't be who I am today...You guys have impacted me greatly. I will miss ya greatly. But I will be seeing you...sometime. MwaHA...if not...I will hunt you down. But don't make me do that...it's annoying work. ;-)Whatever you do, Put God first and the rest will work out. Well, I wish I could say more...but I can't as I am in shock still...
Brad ~The King of Duct Tape~
P.S. if ya ever need anything, I am only a call away.
dude. like...you guys are leaving?
peoplecan't leave! thaT'S EVIL.
aw. i'm so sad now.
Dear Zeke:
I am a bit of a blog-hopper, and today I happened to land on your blog and discovered you were going to have to "withdraw" from AGAPE. After reading your post and "feeling your pain," I felt that I should write.
First, I want to preface my comment by making sure you know that I know NOTHING but what I've read in your post. I feel compelled to say that, because being both a teacher and a parent you might think I am somehow privy to inside stuff, but I can assure you that I'm privy to diddly! LOL Life is much easier when you only know what you need to know---know what I mean?
Anyway, it sounds like you are really struggling to keep this "truth" private, which is completely understandable. Nothing is harder for an innocent person than justice delayed. And, for a person who has made every effort to be a friend to EVERYONE, this must be quite painful and challenging.
So, I just wanted to encourage you. I am obviously bummed I will not be passing you in the hall, but I am more concerned about YOU. And, I know from personal experience that things like this can really reek and bring a person DOWN. I don't want to see that happen.
First, it is always the right thing to submit to godly authority. You can never go wrong with that choice. (MAN, how I wish I had learned that 20 years ago!)
Secondly, remember that Christ is your Advocate. He is your defender. We serve a just God. It is VERY hard to wait for truth to be revealed and just served, but it is always right to wait for the Lord to do it His way. Keep praying for Him to bring everything into the Light. He will.
Third, God has given you some very special gifts, Zeke. Trust Him through this. If you have committed your life to His hands, you can be confidant that He will never allow you to suffer what you cannot bear. He will allow suffering (as you have already experienced in your short life), but only so that He can refine us into vessels that will bring Him even greater glory. Trust Him.
Fourth, I appreciate your willingness to accept responsibility for your part in this ordeal ("...the blame for this situation follows a winding trail that has entry ramps at my door..."). We all have made choices that open the door for the Enemy to bring trouble our way. However, when our lives are securely in God's loving hands, He will carry us through.
As an old woman, a REALLY old woman (nod to Moriah), I can assure you that taking the high road is never easy---after all, it means climbing uphill all the way! However, it is still the BEST road. Resist the temptation to speak about things you've been advised to keep to yourself.
God bless you, Zeke. I will put you on my Prayer Wall and keep this in prayer.
Your friend,
Mrs. G
"Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee." (Deut. 31:6)
I forgot: Read Psalm 37. David Wilkerson keeps a copy of this in his wallet to read whenever he is having a rough day. It is a good Word!
Again,
Mrs. G
:D
hey yo. Yeah, the Kack has some good stuff online. good almost call on the quote there. Howz other things lately? I really don't have anything to say right now. Lame. Sorry
haha. But having Abi alone just isn't the same as having both of you at the same time.
Thank goodness for internet communication ^_^
p.s. You were so missed today =(
*hug*
dude...i'm really sorry. that's a major bummer, and i've had extended periods where a knot took up residence and began to become an almost intelligent life form whilst living in my gut...so...i get that.
and i hope that it's all resolved...and...yeah. all that stuff "mrs. g" said is good, and...mhmm.
hopefully i'll see you guys before too long...
way-ull, we'll hang again someday. and...i hope you have much fun camping con tu familia...i'm mostly in durham these days, but, as i told abi, i'm in manchester at the old pad tomorrow from about 5 onward...so, iffen yous guys wanna stop by, that'd be awesome...
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